The Trustworthiness of Pain:
A Journey Through Healing

'Stories and Other Things Holy' Episode 15:

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So, the pain was trustworthy then...

For those of you inclined to “look ahead,” here’s a little gift for you: The crescendo line of this week’s story is—wait for it—“So, the pain was trustworthy then.”

Even as I type these words—and for as many times as I’ve told the story—I still find myself pausing, glancing over my shoulder, holding my breath when I say, type, or even think:

So, the pain was trustworthy then.

Like so many realms of the Soul that we’ve explored together in our Stories and Other Things Holy adventure, the notion that Pain might be worthy of trust presents us with one MORE Paradox:

The Pain was tolerable . . .
The Pain was short-lived . . .
The Pain was expected . . .
The Pain was crushing . . .
The Pain was proportional . . .
The Pain was overwhelming . . .
The Pain was breath-taking . . .
The Pain was — OVER.

But Trustworthy?!?!?!?

One of the crucial “Jobs” of spirituality and religion is to help us answer the question: “What of suffering and pain?”

We human types are “meaning-makers”—we can’t help ourselves. We strain to make sense of things. And this is precisely why the question “What of suffering and pain?” is so challenging and so important. One of our greatest fears is that we’ll encounter pain or suffering that feels absurd—void of meaning.

Perhaps we can turn to Dame Julian of Norwich for a tender hint. She famously declared:

“All shall be well, all shall be well, all manner of things shall be well . . . ”

Less famous is the second half of this declaration:

“All shall be well, all shall be well, all manner of things shall be well . . . For there is a force of love moving through the universe that holds us fast and will never let us go.”

Is it possible that pain and suffering are trustworthy—that they carry meaning—when we imagine that Love can get Her arms around them? That Love can hold them?

As always, it is a gift—a crucial GIFT—to enter into the Holy of Stories together. Thank you.

- Terry Nelson-Johnson

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Grace-ercises

1. Sacred Pause with Pain
   Take a moment to sit quietly with a physical or emotional pain you're carrying. Rather than immediately trying to fix or flee from it, imagine yourself approaching it with gentle curiosity. What might this pain be trying to tell you? What wisdom might it hold? After sitting with your pain for a few minutes, write down any insights that arise. Close by asking: "Could this pain, in its own way, be trustworthy?"
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2. Love's Embrace ​
   Find a quiet space and bring to mind someone you know who is suffering. Picture them being held in what Dame Julian of Norwich calls "the force of love moving through the universe." Now imagine yourself standing beside them, also held in that same loving embrace. What shifts in you when you envision pain and love coexisting this way? What becomes possible when we allow Love to hold both our suffering and our healing?
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3. When Pain Was a Teacher ​
   Recall a time when pain - whether physical, emotional, or spiritual - ultimately led you somewhere important. Perhaps it taught you something essential about yourself, drew you closer to others, or deepened your capacity for compassion. Write a brief letter to that pain, acknowledging both its difficulty and its role in your journey. Begin with "Dear Pain..." and see where the writing takes you.

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